There I was, driving again, listening and singing along to the Broadway Classic, "Jesus Christ, Superstar…."
*poof* "Hey Ted."
I nearly ran off the road and crashed my truck.
"Man, I wish you wouldn't do that Jesus!" I said to the King of Kings.
"It seemed like a great entrance to me," he replied.
"Well, I could have wrecked."
"Not with Jesus as your copilot. Plus, had you crashed and died, I would have raised you from the dead."
"Well, if you raise me from the dead, do it quick. I don't want to stink the place up like Lazarus did."
"Yeah, he was a little ripe there. He had D.G.B.O."
"D.G.B.O.?" I asked.
"'Dead Guy Body Odor.' Ha! You walked right into that one Theodore."
"Oh, you're a funny one. As messiahs go."
"Yep, I like to think so!"
We drove along quietly, as the Lord was thumbing through my iPod.
"Hey Ted, do you have any beer, and the earphones for this thing?"
I dug in my shirt pocket, and handed them to him. "The cooler is behind the seat."
"Pabst?!? That's all you have?" sayith the Lord.
"Hey, I didn't know I was having company! What kind or beer do you like?"
"Corona. I like that slice of lime people put in the bottle."
"Oh, great. I have to have Coronas in the cooler, and limes, and a knife to slice them up with, just in case you decide to pop in?" asked I, in the most respectful way, of course.
"It's either that, or trying to find my mom on a piece of toast!" roared the messiah, slapping my shoulder.
As we drove, Jesus drank his Pabst, closed his eyes and was humming along to Sarah McLachlan's "Angel."
"Wow, what a voice...beautiful" I swear I saw tears in his eyes.
"What's going on with you, my sacred friend?" I asked.
He sighed, "The war in Iraq is bugging me."
"It's bugging a lot of people, Jesus"
"It's not so much the slaughter going on, in the name of The One. Hell, I am almost used to that. It's where it is taking you."
"What do you mean" I inquired.
"The song, 'America The Beautiful,' it's true, you know. This nation has been blessed, but the people in power have forgotten that."
"You mean George Bush?" I asked.
"Oh, not just him, the lot of them. Democrats, Republicans, whatever name you want to give them. They are no better than the Romans, or the Pharisees. You need to be very watchful. Governments are evil at their core. It's their nature. Think about it. You had two planes crash into skyscrapers, 2752 people died. They're safe now. But over 3000 more of your citizens have died avenging their deaths and over 600,000 innocent people have died in Iraq. You add that to what your government is doing to its own citizens, and it disturbs me. And I have seen a lot."
"Where you are headed is to a theocratic police state where every one of your movements are watched and everything you say is listened too. All in the name of protecting you. Now that is funny! Wake up! A free society is something very new in the history of mankind. Don't piss it away."
"Whoa, there big fella!" I cautioned The Lord. "Don't you think you are getting a little carried away?"
"Am I? Read your history McFly. It's all happened before."
"Oh, well," he sighed. "There isn't much I will do about it. I'm getting tired of all of it. Pull over; I have to take a leak." commanded He.
"You have to take a leak? I didn't think….."
"Hey, you bought the cheap beer!"
With that, I pulled over. Jesus stepped out of my car, looked over his shoulder, said, "See ya buddy," and was gone.
I shook my head, and decided to go get breakfast at Denny's, to see if I could find his mom.
Copyright 2007 Ted Sky All rights reserved.
*poof* "Hey Ted."
I nearly ran off the road and crashed my truck.
"Man, I wish you wouldn't do that Jesus!" I said to the King of Kings.
"It seemed like a great entrance to me," he replied.
"Well, I could have wrecked."
"Not with Jesus as your copilot. Plus, had you crashed and died, I would have raised you from the dead."
"Well, if you raise me from the dead, do it quick. I don't want to stink the place up like Lazarus did."
"Yeah, he was a little ripe there. He had D.G.B.O."
"D.G.B.O.?" I asked.
"'Dead Guy Body Odor.' Ha! You walked right into that one Theodore."
"Oh, you're a funny one. As messiahs go."
"Yep, I like to think so!"
We drove along quietly, as the Lord was thumbing through my iPod.
"Hey Ted, do you have any beer, and the earphones for this thing?"
I dug in my shirt pocket, and handed them to him. "The cooler is behind the seat."
"Pabst?!? That's all you have?" sayith the Lord.
"Hey, I didn't know I was having company! What kind or beer do you like?"
"Corona. I like that slice of lime people put in the bottle."
"Oh, great. I have to have Coronas in the cooler, and limes, and a knife to slice them up with, just in case you decide to pop in?" asked I, in the most respectful way, of course.
"It's either that, or trying to find my mom on a piece of toast!" roared the messiah, slapping my shoulder.
As we drove, Jesus drank his Pabst, closed his eyes and was humming along to Sarah McLachlan's "Angel."
"Wow, what a voice...beautiful" I swear I saw tears in his eyes.
"What's going on with you, my sacred friend?" I asked.
He sighed, "The war in Iraq is bugging me."
"It's bugging a lot of people, Jesus"
"It's not so much the slaughter going on, in the name of The One. Hell, I am almost used to that. It's where it is taking you."
"What do you mean" I inquired.
"The song, 'America The Beautiful,' it's true, you know. This nation has been blessed, but the people in power have forgotten that."
"You mean George Bush?" I asked.
"Oh, not just him, the lot of them. Democrats, Republicans, whatever name you want to give them. They are no better than the Romans, or the Pharisees. You need to be very watchful. Governments are evil at their core. It's their nature. Think about it. You had two planes crash into skyscrapers, 2752 people died. They're safe now. But over 3000 more of your citizens have died avenging their deaths and over 600,000 innocent people have died in Iraq. You add that to what your government is doing to its own citizens, and it disturbs me. And I have seen a lot."
"Where you are headed is to a theocratic police state where every one of your movements are watched and everything you say is listened too. All in the name of protecting you. Now that is funny! Wake up! A free society is something very new in the history of mankind. Don't piss it away."
"Whoa, there big fella!" I cautioned The Lord. "Don't you think you are getting a little carried away?"
"Am I? Read your history McFly. It's all happened before."
"Oh, well," he sighed. "There isn't much I will do about it. I'm getting tired of all of it. Pull over; I have to take a leak." commanded He.
"You have to take a leak? I didn't think….."
"Hey, you bought the cheap beer!"
With that, I pulled over. Jesus stepped out of my car, looked over his shoulder, said, "See ya buddy," and was gone.
I shook my head, and decided to go get breakfast at Denny's, to see if I could find his mom.
Copyright 2007 Ted Sky All rights reserved.
No comments:
Post a Comment