Chapter Twenty Seven - Jesus explains Easter

I was standing in the back of St. Nicolas Byzantine Catholic Church on Easter Sunday.  As the priest was going up and down the aisles, swinging the incense, it brought back memories of childhood, and Saint Peter and Paul’s Church, in my home town of Portage, Pennsylvania. I grew up Byzantine Catholic and the sights, sounds and smells of a very ancient world. Byzantine Catholicism is somewhere between Roman Catholic and Russian Orthodox, it is more of an Eastern, mystical tradition. Our lives, the story of Jesus, are all mysteries to me. This is a good place to ponder them.

I turned to my right and The Son of Man was standing there, looking up at the stained glass windows in the dome. The room blurred, and  I found myself and the I AM standing in the back of Saint Peter and Paul's, 

“This is a nice church, Ted.” Said HE.

“It took a long time to build, lots of church picnics and pierogi dinners to pay for this little cathedral in the country. That mosaic to the right of the nave is Christ the Teacher. My family bought it to honor my Grandfather and Grandmother, Frank and Anna Wodoslawsky.” I explained to the one who knows all.

“I remember,” said Jesus.

“What brings you here, today, Jesus?” I askith HE.

“I thought I’d stop by and give the sermon!”

With that, Jesus the Christ, walked towards the front of the church, and shooed the priest from the pulpit.

Jesus cleared his throat, and then bellowed, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it!”

The church reverberated with the voice of God. The parishioners, looked at each other, bewildered. Who was this intruder? Then, slowly at first, they each looked at the larger crucifix behind the ornate alter. The cast man nailed to the cross was gone. Just the bloodied nails remained.

Then HE spoke again, “All that have ears to hear, let them hear!”

People fell down onto their knees, some cried. Some were shaking. Some were terrified. Who would expect Jesus, the living Son of God, to show up in a church on Easter Sunday? I mean, really?

I was standing in the back, thinking, “Man, what a ham. This should be good…”

“I heard that, Ted.” Jesus spoke right into my head.

Then HE said, “Please, please everyone, settle down. I have something important to tell you. Take your seats, please.”

“A reading from The Gospel of Thomas, a good friend of mine.” Jesus unrolled a scroll.

“The one who seeks should not cease seeking until he finds.

And when he finds, he will be dismayed.

And when he is dismayed, he will be astonished.

And he will be king over the All.”

“I will give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has not occurred to the human mind.”

Jesus rolled the scroll back up, then said, “When you celebrate Easter Sunday, and the resurrection of the Christ, the deeper meaning has been lost upon you.”

“Some of you believe I died on that cross,” Jesus pointed to empty crucifix behind him.

He turned back around to the crowd. More people were showing up. Someone must have sent out text messages, or tweets.

“Some of you come here, because you have always come here. This is where your parents came, this is where they brought you. You have seen weddings, baptisms, and funerals here. Few of you, maybe none of you have reflected upon what does the Death and Resurrection of The Christ mean in your daily life, other than absolving yourself of responsibility for living and maybe a free pass into Heaven?”

“My death and resurrection is also a metaphor for your own lives. To gain the kingdom in this life, you must know that The Kingdom is within you. All of you. The kingdom isn’t out there, tomorrow, or the next day, it is in you, right now, today. To gain it, you must die and be reborn. Not physical death, by the death of the self. The ego. That part of you that nags at you about all your past mistakes and anxieties. KILL IT.”

“He who drinks from my mouth will become like me, and I will become like him, and the hidden things will be revealed to him.”

“Do not fear the death of the self. I am with you. Not one of you is alone.”

“You must do this many times. You must continually die and be resurrected anew.  Easter Sunday isn’t about me, insomuch as it is an example to you. You too can be resurrected. Every day is a new day. Every day is a new potential you. Hear the birds singing their songs to wake you. Look around you! Do not waste this life carrying the cross of guilt, sorrow and anger. Drop it all. Let the dead bury it for you.”

“If you feel alone, and are struggling, I am there with you.”

“Cleave a piece of wood and I am there. Lift up a stone and there I am.”

With a shudder, Jesus was gone. The man on the cross was back in his place. The people were shaking their heads in disbelief of what had just happened. It will be blamed on mass hysteria. A faulty heater. Anything except the revealed truth from The Son of Man.

I walked out of the Church, and into the warm Sun. God's Sun.

I had work to do, on me.

Happy Easter.

copyright 2017 Ted Sky

Chapter Twenty Six - Graceland

It was raining when I exited Route 385 in Memphis. Traffic slowed as I rolled up to the light at Winchester Road. There was someone sitting in a wheel chair, next to the left lane. Most everyone kept their windows rolled up, waiting for the traffic signal to turn green.  An old Pontiac Grand Am, with mismatched fenders and rusted out doors, opened their driver’s side door and handed the person in the wheelchair a few dollars. Old Pontiac Grand Ams seem to be the official car for people on a very tight budget. It’s funny, I have often noticed that people of little means can be the most charitable. They know, I suppose, what it is like to be cold and hungry.

By the time I got to the light, it had changed to yellow, then red, again. I reached into my pocket to see if I had a few dollar bills to spare. I tried not to make eye contact with the wheel chair bound citizen before I knew what I had to give. Finding three singles, my eyes drifted to the legless man in the wheel chair. He was dirty, despite the rain, and disheveled. He had a cardboard sign, “Vietnam Veteran. Please help!” That’s when I saw his eyes, and knew it was my incognito friend, The Sun of Man. Actually, he only had one good eye, the right one. The left was milky and had that Forest Whitaker ptosis droop.

I hit the emergency fishers, popped the trunk of my rented Chevy Malibu, and got out of the car, saying “Geezuz Jesus! What the hell are you doing out here in the Memphis rain?! Get in the car for Christ sakes, your sakes, whatever, just get in the car.”

Jesus said, “I ain’t got no legs today Theo, you are going to have to help.”

“Oh, great. You know my back has been giving me trouble.” I moaned.

I pushed the wheel chair, and legless, one-eyed Jesus to the passenger side of the car. That door was locked, “Oh flippin great!” I mumbled, as I stomped back to the driver’s side to hit the unlock button. I stepped in a puddle, soaking my black Allen Edmunds shoe, and the sock, just as horns started to honk and I opened the driver’s side door. I yelled out to no one in particular, “Go fuck yourselves! Someone could help us, you know.”

No one did.

I made my way back to Jesus in his wheel chair, he was laughing.

“Oh sure, yuck it up at my expense.” I said to the I AM.

“I always do!” the I AM exclaimed.

I lifted Jesus out of his wheel chair, and l struggled to get him into the car. I gasped for air.

“Wow. You stink, Jesus. Did you have to go for the complete homeless package?” He smelled so bad, I could taste it. Of all the possible B.O.’s, chewable B.O. was the worst.

“Hey, you have done some acting. You know how important it is to inhabit your character fully.” was Jesus’ reason for funking up my rental car.

As we rode to my hotel, I asked The Alpha and The Omega how well he did with donations.

“About one out of twenty cars gave me some cash. One guy tossed an empty beer can at my head, he will be dead by sundown, and I had a few, ‘Get a job!’ comments yelled my way. All totaled, I received about fifty bucks, and coupon for a McDonalds hamburger, fries, and a drink.”

I sighed and said to HIM, “I know that some people don’t like to give a homeless person cash, for fear they will spend it on booze or drugs, but I am pretty sure that if I was totally F-ed up by some stupid war I was conned to fight in, I would be getting loaded every day.”

Jesus replied, “That was a thoughtful gift. For someone to carry vouchers for food in their car, they must have planned it knowing that they would find me, or someone who could use a meal. Pretty nice, really. Remind me to send a blessing their way.”

Jesus reached in his pocket, and pulled out a cigarette. He looked around the rental car for the cigarette lighter, flipping open all the little doors that led to all the little places, none of which contained a factory cigarette lighter. “Oh, come on now…” Jesus said.

“They don’t put lighters in cars anymore, Jesus. It is part of the great nannying of the human race.”

“No matter, Ted. Hey, can you still do that trick with your thumb to make it click?”

“You mean this?” I moved the thumb on my right hand backwards, clicking the joint where it attaches to my hand. A flame popped up from my thumb, as Jesus grabbed my hand and lit his cigarette.

“Hey!” I exclaimed, as I nearly lost control of the Malibu, blowing on my thumb to put out the flame.

“Thanks!” Jesus let out one of his, “I got you Ted” laughs that I have heard many times.

“First you stink up this car, now you are smoking in it?! They charge for cleaning a stunk up car at Hertz, you know.” Jesus could sometimes be inconsiderate.

“Don’t worry, I am sure that I can deodorize your precious rental car before you have to turn it in.” Jesus was getting annoyed with me.

“Well, don’t forget,” I said sheepishly.

We arrived at the hotel I had booked for my short stay in Memphis, and I rolled One-eyed legless, fragrant, Jesus into the lobby and up to the registration desk.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Wodoslawsky. Checking in?” the hotel desk clerk, Daisy, asked.

“Yep! I will need a double room, handicapped, if you have one.”

“We have something on the first floor. Would that be alright?”

“Perfect, Daisy. Thank you.”

Jesus piped up and said, “Daisy is a wonderful name! One cannot say it without being happy.”

Daisy said, “Thank you sir! And what is your name?’

“Alphie Omega,” is what Jesus told Daisy. I rolled my eyes.  Daisy smiled and handed me two hotel keys.

I wheeled Jesus, with my luggage on his lap, towards room 107. “Alphie Omega? Really?” I said, shaking my head.

Jesus chuckled and said, “Good one, huh?”

“It’s something,” was my reply.

“That was weird though. Daisy never batted an eye about your appearance or cologne.” I said as I swiped the hotel key, opening the door to our room.

“A few people naturally see beyond the superficial. Daisy is one of them. This will be one of her last trips here.” the King of Kings explained.

I pushed the wheelchair, with Jesus and my luggage into the room.

“Jesus, how about you take a shower. You can wear my spare set of clothing. I always bring and extra day’s change of clothes, in case I get stranded somewhere.”

“Thanks Theo!” Jesus wheeled himself into the bathroom. I heard the shower come on.

I was on my mobile phone, checking in at home, when I heard singing in the shower.

“…Multitudes are marching to the big kettle drum.

Voices callin', voices cryin'.

Some are born an' some are dyin'.

It's Alphie Omega’s Kingdom come!”

Jesus laughed. He was very amused at his own wit.  Admittedly, I was too.

I was on the phone, checking my voice mails, when Jesus, or Alphie Omega, emerged from the bathroom. Looking clean and refreshed, with two good legs underneath him, he pushed his wheel chair into a corner, and folded it up.

He had two good eyes too.

“Hey Jesus, good to see you looking like your old self, or at least the self I am used to seeing.” I was happy to see the common Western European version of The Son of Man.

“Yeah, it was time to knock of work for the day. By the way, where the hell have you been? I have not seen you in at least two years, or you haven’t seen me, to be more accurate.”

“I think I have been mourning the death of my mother, Alice Joann Stupi Wodoslawsky.  Her death was a combination of beauty and stark horror. She has finally stopped showing up in my dreams. My subconscious finally let her go.” I explained to the I AM.

“We all mourn in our own way.” Jesus said with a sigh. “I’m sorry that life has to end in death, but that’s why we are here. To live and die.”

“I try to understand that, Jesus. It will be my turn to go sooner than I like to think. Maybe I will see my mom on the other side of all of this. I hope so.’

“You gotta have faith, Ted! Without it…” Jesus trailed off.

“What’s on the agenda for this afternoon?” askith He.

“I was planning on going to the office, but since you are here, we could go do some sightseeing. There are Civil War battlefields within driving distance, Sun Records, Beale Street, and of course, Graceland.” I offered Jesus some options.

“Graceland sounds good. I haven't been there since I called Elvis home. I really don't want to revisit any Civil War battlefields.” Jesus sighed and shook his head. The he said, “Homo Lupi Homo”

I knew that phrase from my limited exposure to Latin, it means, “Man is a wolf to man.” The historical record proves that out.

Jesus and I drove to Graceland, paid our tickets, and prepared to tour Elvis’ old stomping ground. We were waiting in line, when someone said, “You look just like The King!” I looked around to see who they were talking about, when The King of Kings said, “Thank you. Thank you very much!” There he was, Jesus-Elvis right out of the 1968 Comeback Special - probably Elvis at his most handsome.

I looked at Jesvis and said, “I should have seen this coming.”

The King replied, “What’s a matter Teddy boy, are you all shook up? Uh huh..”

I just shook my head.

We had reached the part of the line where people took pictures in front of an image of the Graceland fence. People wanted to get their pictures taken with Jesvis, and he was obliging. Little did anyone know that they were getting their picture taken with The King of Kings posing as The King. After about a half hour of this, Jesus/Elvis and I made our way to the Graceland Mansion.

Graceland is by no means a mansion by today’s standards. It is more like the McMansions that today populate upper middle class neighborhoods. I once heard a comedian joke about Graceland, “There is nothing scarier than a hillbilly with money.” He must have been standing in the Graceland Jungle Room when he came up with that thought.

Jesus put his hand on the wall, as if to feel the energy from the house, and a look of sadness came over him. I put my hand on Jesus’ shoulder, to offer some comfort and said, “People come here to see where someone famous, maybe he was their idol, lived and died. It reminds me of a tomb of a great Egyptian pharaoh that is open for tours.”

Jesus said, “That is exactly what it is Theo. The only difference is Elvis didn’t build Graceland as his tomb, it just wound up that way. Pharaohs built tombs and packed it with the stuff of their day, to accompany them on the journey to the afterlife. All the things they that thought they would need in the journey to the hereafter. The truth is, you take nothing with you into the next world.”

“Some people start giving their stuff away when their time is almost up. My grandparents did, and my mom did. The things I gave them as gifts, were given back to me. I didn’t even remember half the stuff. When they died, I got back even more stuff,” I sighed.

We got to the building that housed all of Elvis’ Gold records and other awards. That is probably the saddest room in Graceland, at least to me. I looked at Jesus and he had switched from his Elvis look, into a regular guy wearing a trucker hat. It had a pair of dice and the words “Holly Roller” silk screened on the front. He had on a pair of Wrangler blue jeans, with the knee torn out, and a white T-shirt with a pack of Lucky Strikes rolled up under one sleeve. A tooled leather belt with a rhinestone “THE KING” belt buckle, and black cowboy boots completed the look.

“Look at all the success he had,” I said out loud.  “Yet, it wasn’t enough. I imagine he was happier during the time he was working his way up in the music industry. Once he got there, he was doomed.”

“That should be the lesson that people take away from here. All the stuff you think will make you happy winds up becoming your prison. Elvis died surrounded by monuments to himself. He died sick and sad. Like a lot of people,” Jesus said. “The things you own, will wind up owning you,” as someone once said.  Jesus made a broad swipe with his left hand.

“Alphie, are you about ready to get out of here?” I asked.

“Yeah, this place is a downer. I just want to stop by the graves on our way out.”

We stood there, in front of the Presley family plots at Graceland.  Jesus said, “I like the idea of burying your dead on your own property. It’s a nice way to keep those who were close to us, close to us after they have gone from this world. Now days, we are insulated from death. Grandma or grand pap dies in a hospital, often times alone. Then they are wheeled out to the undertaker and embalmed. The blood is drained. A plug is put in their butt, and a heavy coat of makeup is applied so that we can remember people the way they were. Which is a joke, really. No matter what we do, they are no longer animated with the spirit of life. Then we hall them off and stick ‘em in the ground miles away from us in some vain attempt at keep death away from us. Death finds us all. We can’t hide from it.”

“Hey, speaking of death, where is your friend, Bob - The Angel of Death? I have not seen him for awhile. Not that I REALLY want to.” I askith Alphie, The Lord.

“Ha! Your ‘war on terror,’ has kept him quite busy. I don’t know the body count off hand, but it is getting close to two million souls. Everybody yaks about someone being ‘The Next Hitler,” all while feeding the slaughter machine.” Jesus was getting pissed.

“Don’t blame me, Jesus! I have been trying to tell people that we have been conned into thinking we are the noble, ‘Good guys,’ for at least the past ten years. Sadly, the same propaganda works over and over again. I think it was Goebbels who said, “Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”

“After watching this for two millennia, I do not think it will ever change. Christians killed Jews, Jews killed Muslims, Hindus killed Buddhists, and everybody killed pagans. It has never stopped. I find it funny that people think I am going to return from the sky and fix it all. You know how I would fix it? Burn the planet to a crisp. End this once and forever. No do overs. My message was quite clear. Love your neighbor. Love your enemies. Help others. It’s really quite simple.” Jesus’ voice trailed off, and he sighed. “I was nailed to a cross once for these fools. I have zero interest in doing anything more.”

I put my hand on my friend’s shoulder, and said, “Let’s head over to Beale Street for some jazz, barbeque and beer.”

“Let’s go, Teddy.” Jesus replied, and we headed to the Chevy Malibu, Alphie Omega began to sing, “Walking in Memphis,” as the sun set on Southwestern Tennessee.

copyright 2017 - Ted Sky

Chapter Twenty Five - Worrying Our Way Through Life

I was very tired. Another long day in my Michigan home office, which I refer to as "the bunker," due to its location in my basement. As I lay down to go to sleep, I thought how as the years add on, there are more things to worry about, not less. Somehow life getting easier as we get older doesn't happen. I thought it would, for some unknown reason. Why I believed that, I don't know.  Growing up, my extended family consisted of grandfather's who worked coal mines. Uncles who left school to do the same, then went off to war. They all came back. My dad survived Korea too. Five sons. No one lost to war. At least not dead, anyway. They came back, got married, raised a family and drank too much. Not all did, but enough did to leave a lasting impression. Their lives had worry on a scale that our present society is not used to.  In my Grandfathers' life times, there was WWI, The Great Depression, WWII, the rise of Hitler, Stalin and Mao, a polio epidemic, the the threat of their own sons going off to a war in Vietnam and nuclear annihilation.  Something we actually came perilously close to during with Cuban Missile Crisis,

I woke up to find myself sitting in a color filled world. It looked familiar. Then, I recognized it. It was the world from the movie "What Dreams May Come." I wondered if Robin Williams was around here some where.  It seemed like the place he would want to go to, after his exit. 

I saw a man walking towards me. Blurry at first, but then he came into focus. It was my friend, The Son of Man, Jesus, not Robin Williams.  I waved and he waved back. It was good to see him. He smiled warmly and gave me a big warm hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you doing, Ted?" he asked me.

"Well, to be honest. I have been stressing out a bit lately." I said.

"What about?" asked the King of Kings.

"Pretty much everything." I sighed. "I thought my life would be easier by now. I thought I would grow out of my habit of worrying."

"Ted, life is worry." Jesus told me. "Or as my friend Buddha said, it is dukkah, pain. Psychological pain. Try to remember that this world is temporal, and there are other worlds before and after this one that are different."

"Yeah, they could be worse!" I exclaimed, half jokingly.

"Some are, Tedushu. And to some people, this world is worse than the last. To others, it is better. The Universe and your immortal soul are intertwined with everything that has and will ever happen."

I explained to Jesus, that "I have spent the better part of my life pursuing the world beyond the worry of this one. Sometimes, I can see this ribbon in space time for the personal passion play it is. I can step out of it and observe the characters and the story, but most times my mind is stuck in it. We humans are stuck living in this world. Getting pulled into the same traps our ancient ancestors fell into. The stage set and costumes may change with time, but living a life doesn't. The true demons of this world don't lurk in old homes and abandoned asylums. They wear expensive suits and work in all major, and quite a few minor, institutions. They keep us in a constant state of stress and worry. Try to break free of it, and there is another crisis around the corner. As Roseanne Roseannadanna said, "It's always something."

"Hey, Ted, at least you know where evil lives. Most people don't see it. You do. Maybe that's your breakthrough this time around." Jesus knew something. (Which makes sense, him being Jesus.)

"This time around? I have been here, wherever here is, before?" I asked The Son.

"Of course! I'd have to check the records, but this is far from your first time." Jesus said this like I should know it. And I did know it.

"Have you read Nick Bostrom's paper on The Universe being a computer simulation?" Jesus asked.

I looked at Jesus and cocked and eye an eyebrow. 

"What am I asking?! Of course you have!" The Lord of Lords let out a hearty laugh and slapped me on the back "What did you thing about it?"

"To me, it makes a lot more sense than all of this being a random occurrence. That we got here by chance, that never made sense to me. Even when I was an atheist." (Jesus knew about my atheist period.) 

"Yeah, Nick is a smart man to have come up with that theory. Of course, there is always the risk that there is a nefarious reason for publishing such a paper. If people think this world is 'fake,' Lord knows what would happen." 

I let out a laugh. Jesus asked, "What?"

"You said, 'Lord knows.' You're the Lord for Christ's sake!" I was still chuckling.

Jesus came back with, "Ha! You just said, 'for Christ's sake.' You should have said, 'for your sake." 

Jesus and I both get confused at times.

Moving back to our conversation, I said to the I AM, "On the Universe being a simulation, why would that make it fake? The Universe has to exist somewhere. Inside a super computer is a good a place as I think of. It, in all likelihood, would resemble the 'real' universe. Whoever built the simulated Universe would base it on their world, I think. At least for the most part."

Do you think that Nick's thesis has merit?", The Lord askith me.

I considered his question, then responded. "Actually, I think the real possibility is that post-human "people" would not only run ancestor simulations as Professor Bostrom speculates, I believe they would be actual participants in the simulation. Think about it, virtual reality is the big thing in computer gaming. The goal of the game creators is for it to be as as realistic as possible. If post-humans have the technology and wealth to create simulations of universes. They could also develop the technology to download their consciousness into the game itself. Unlike the world portrayed in The Matrix, the participants know they are going into the game. They get to choose a character to experience The Universe through. Once they get here, their memories of the where the came from, and why they are here, are put into storage until this adventure is over. Considering  the millions of people and other creatures inhabit Earth right now, the possibilities for different adventures are endless. Unless post-humans evolve to the point where they don't get bored out of their minds, they would most certainly would want to 'play the game.' I mean, what else would there be to do? I get bored senseless now, and I am nowhere near a post-human."

"Unless we are already playing the game, Ted." Jesus said to me. "If what you are saying is true, then we most certainly are. Maybe all souls are post-human beings, that have returned to the past to work on their own spirituality. If you use today's patterns of human nature, at some point in the future all the gods will die once again. There will be a new dark age, and then humans will emerge from it. Since that has happened before, there is no reason  to think it won't happen again, and keep happening. Until the post-human souls reach individual perfection.

Jesus continued, "Take my own incarnation for example. How many Son's of God have there been that hang out with twelve friends? Horus, Attis, Dionysus, to name a few. That twelve friends thing comes up a lot. Maybe we play the game with our friends, taking on different roles each time. Sometimes you get to be the savior, sometimes you are Judas. Other times you are Pontious Pilot's dog!" Jesus let out a roar of a laugh.  "It would also explain how we meet people we know we know from somewhere, sometime else."

"Is that the Truth, Jesus?" I asked.

"Heck Ted, I don't know. I does seem odd that the same game is played out over and over again. We are sent here with a mere wisp of a memory, and a goal. I am not much different than you, or anyone else, in that regard. I knew I was sent here to show people how to live. I was a teacher, and like most people who try to show the way, I got nailed up for it. Like a lot of teaching jobs, the pay was shitty and the students didn't really want to learn."

Jesus and I both laughed at how things really never change, in this game called Human Life. 

That's the proof, I suppose, that all of this really is a game. A simulation we play through until the end.

Then I saw Robin.

Copyright Ted Sky 2015
All rights reserved.

Chapter Twenty Four - It's turtles the whole way down.

The King of Kings and I crawled out of the rim of the Grand Canyon, and headed over to the Jeep I had rented. I told Jesus he could drive, my death and resurrection left me a little shaky.

We put the canvas top down, and started south on Arizona Route 261. I must have fallen asleep, the next thing I remember was waking up to Route 66 signs flashing by. Yawning and stretching I said, "Hey, Joshua, haven't you found a place to have a few long necks yet?" 

"Almost there, Theo!" The Lord sayith unto me.

After few more miles down the road, Jesus pulled off into the gravel  parking lot of the Corpus Christi Hotel and Bar. "You have to see this place, Ted. It was someone's idea of a tourist attraction back in the day." Jesus was laughing and shaking his head. 

We walked into the dimly lit bar, and took a few seconds for our eyes to adjust. There were the typical cow skulls hanging on the walls, intermixed with a collection of the tackiest Jesus-themed works of "art" I had ever seen. Behind the bar was a back-lit painting of Jesus being crucified, on blue glass, with a rainbow burst.

The Last Supper made out of a hunk of dried cheese hung near the kitchen entrance.

The Virgin and Child paint-by-numbers was on the door of the ladies rest room. That was actually hauntingly beautiful.

The more I looked, the weirder it got. Around the walls of the bar were fourteen small booths, one for each station of the cross. There was little plaque above each table, with a plaster cast representation of each station.

1. Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane,
2. Jesus is betrayed by Judas and arrested,
3. Jesus is condemned by the Sanhedrin,
4. Jesus is denied by Peter,
5. Jesus is judged by Pilate,
6. Jesus is scourged and crowned with thorns,
7. Jesus takes up his cross,
8. Jesus is helped by Simon to carry his cross,
9. Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem,
10. Jesus is crucified,
11. Jesus promises his kingdom to the repentant thief,
12. Jesus entrusts Mary and John to each other,
13. Jesus dies on the cross,
14. Jesus is laid in the tomb.

The casts were pretty beat up, with corners broken off, noses missing, stains, etc. Jesus said, "Places like this are great, should I want a reminder of my worst day ever!" and slapped me on the back. "Let's get those beers." 

We walked up to the bar, with the Jesus Painted on Blue Glass's eyes following The Son of Man and I. Jesus ordered two Dos Equis Ambars from the one-eyed Mexican woman tending bar. She really wasn't one-eyed. She had two, but one was all milky white and creepy as hell. We took our beers, and I asked Jesus where he wanted to sit. "Let's sit at booth-station number 4. You know, Peter had no balls. Pretty disappointing, really. Some 'rock,' sheesh! Most of those guys were losers, never amounted to much. They were more like roadies than apostles." 

We sat on opposite sides of the booth, enjoying our much deserved beers, neither of us talking. It didn't take long before we both downed our Dos Equis. "Joshua, ready for another?" I asked my friend. 

Jesus let out a loud belch, and said, "I am now. Had to make some room there."

I waved my hand in front or my face and said, "What on Earth did you have to eat? That was a really nasty smell."

"Oh, sorry about that. It probably was the camel jerky." Jesus explained.

"Of course, camel jerky. Yep, that would do it." I said as I shook my head and walked over to the bar to get two more cold Dos Equis.

I got back to the table with two cold beers, and slid one over to Jesu. He looked at me and asked, "Hey Ted, where are we?" 

Well, that depends on what you mean by where. We are, at this moment, at the Corpus Christi Hotel and Bar on Route 66 in Arizona. If that is your question.

"That's a good initial answer. But, where is that?" The Son of Man was looking for something more.

Ah, I see. This is going to be a deeper discussion. Well, we are at a point in space-time that by the time I finish this sentence we will no longer be at. We are forever moving through time and space. It only feels like we are stationary. Impermanence it the nature of life.

Now, this spot on the surface of the Earth is actually moving at 1675 km/h or 465 meters/second. That is roughly equal to leaping the length of one and one-third football fields every second. Our solar system moves at about 800 thousand kilometers an hour. In ninety seconds, we have journeyed 20,000 kilometers around the Milky Way galaxy. The Milky Way itself is moving at 600 kilometers per second through The Universe.  It you add all those up, I have no idea where we are."

Jesus smiled and said, "You must have know there was going to be a quiz, Ted! That was a well reasoned answer of not knowing where you are."

"Thanks Jesus." I felt smart.

Jesus took another swig of his bear, and then asked, "But, where is The Universe, Ted?"

Now that is an interesting question. I would say that The Universe is everywhere, but that doesn't make sense, because everything has to me somewhere. It is somewhat of a logical puzzle, isn't it? It is akin to the story of William James meeting a woman who claimed that the Earth rested on the back of a turtle. When he asked what held up that turtle, she replied that it was a second turtle, of course. Professor James asked, "But would you be so good as to tell me what holds up the second turtle?" The woman replied, "It's no use, Professor. It's turtles-turtles-turtles, all the way!” So, I would have to concur that The Universe is rests on the back of a very large turtle! Ha ha ha ha!" I was very amused with myself.

Jesus just smiled, and said, "That is a good as an answer as any."

What God's only begotten Sun had asked me was something I pondered often. "Okay, I see where you are going with this. I have recently been reading that some scientists have come up with the theory that The Universe is a hologram. We are living in a 3D projection of a two dimensional space. 

Additionally, there is evidence that The Universe is a simulation; that we may exist within a computer simulation. In fact, the odds are greater that The Universe is a simulation, than not. It appears that the structure of this simulation is a lattice. Which would jibe with the idea that we exist within a simulation. The lattice structure is the projection screen of the hologram."

Jesus threw me another complement, "That is some deep stuff Theodore. Are you also aware that The Universe is fractal?"

I took another drink of my beer, "I am aware of that, and it would back up the Holographic Universe theory. If you break a hologram into two pieces, you don't get two halves of a hologram, you get two complete holograms. If you break those in two, you will have four complete holograms. In a sense, it is turtles all the way down."

Jesus roared. "Yep, turtles, turtles, turtles! Do you know the story of Krishna as a child, and his mother, Yoshado?"

I think I know how it ends, but hearing you telling a story about Krishna, The Hindu Christ, would be sublime, J.C."

Jesus Christ, then told me a story about Khrishna.

"As a child, Krishna was very naughty. He was very fond of butter and would often steal milk and butter from other houses, and the women would come complaining to Yashoda about her son's mischievous activities.

One day, while playing in the fields, little Krishna secretly ate mud. His friends went and told Yashoda about this. When Krishna returned home,  Yashoda caught Krishna by his ears and scolded him for putting dirt in his mouth. Krishna promptly replied that he had had a fight with his friends in the morning and to take revenge they were all lying and that Yashoda shouldn't believe them. He said that she was being unfair as she believed them instead of believing her son.

Yashoda knew her son too well. She ordered, "If you have not taken any mud, then open your mouth. I shall see for myself."

Krishna obediently opened his mouth. But when Yashoda peered into his mouth, she was wonderstruck. She saw the entire universe: the mountains the oceans, the planets, air, fire, moon and the stars in his small mouth. Yashoda was stunned and began to wonder whether she were dreaming or actually seeing something extraordinary. She fell on the ground, unconscious.

When she recovered, she realized what had happened. The Lord Almighty, in all his glory, was before her very eyes. It was little Krishna, the incarnation of Vishnu. Yashoda took the little boy on her lap and hugged him and cried with joy.

Now, Theodore, what does that mean within the context of a fractal, holographic, Universe?"

"A few years ago, I realized that now matter how close I can be to someone, I was alone. I am stuck in my head, peering out. All of us are. The Universe exists within our skulls. Nothing is 'out there. It is all, 'in here.'" I tapped my head with my index finger. "When Krishna opened his mouth, his mother saw that truth. The Universe lies within us. Each of us holds a hologram of The Universe in our skulls."

"Does that mean The Universe is an illusion, that none of this is real?" queried the I AM. 

"On the contrary, that does not mean The Universe isn't real, even if it is a holographic simulation running inside a computer, and I intern exist within it. That computer and the program could be the mind of God. Whether or not reality is a computer simulation or something else, it doesn't matter. We are here, regardless."

Jesus pressed on, "If The Universe exists with your mind, how you can be sure that it exists in other people's as well? Are Solipsists correct that that only one's own mind is sure to exist?"

"It is my opinion that if The Universe is a fractal hologram, then it has to exist in everyone's mind. I think the philosophy of Solipsism is a crock of shit. It just serves to absolve one's responsibility to others. The reverse is true, because we hold The Universe in our minds, we are responsible for it. I am not saying that everything right or wrong in the world is our own doing, or that it can be changed just by thinking positively, but we are responsible for our free will and to take action to make a difference, to make The Universe better for all the souls who pass through it."

At that, Jesus stood up and said, "You are learning well, my friend, and I need another beer."

I followed Jesus up to the bar. He held up two fingers to the milky-eyed bar maid. She nodded, we collected two more beers, and made our way to the back patio. We both stood there, looking up at The Universe within all of us.

Copyright 2014, Ted Sky